Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The girls were tramps, and they didn't care...

...but they resented their pimp for putting out the "easy" sign on their corner every night.


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Smells like Teen Spirit


Girls Gone Wild 1

Thelma took the blame for the conga line, after one too many Stingers. Susan caught the rhythm soon thereafter. The tablecloth, however, was never seen again.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008

Hammer Time!

Irritable Bowel Syndrome affects everyone.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

Friday, December 12, 2008

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Sing along with me: put your hand in the fan and you will lose a finger

.........put your foot in the fan, and you will lose a toe. Put your eye in the fan and you will look at others differently.....

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

After realising that her severed hand was attached to the wrong side, Brenda vowed never to travel to Singapore again.


Monday, December 8, 2008

She isn't fooling anybody. Those are SO fake.


Didn't I Say Don't Forget The Jello Salad?

Why did you forget the Jello blah blah blah
How can we show up empty handed?
Why do you always do this to me?
You hate me because mother blah blah blah blah
You want to embarrass me.....
blah blah blah blah yada yada yada
Mother always said blah blah blah

What do you mean you need a drink?
"The way you do that thing with your arm, Brenda. It's just creepy."

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

She gets to go the beach...

...while I am stuck in this stuffy old library. I HATE her.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

It didn't really work

Mom tried, but the kids still noticed that her leg was gone.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Oh baby - can you believe it's maternity?

It's a maternity jumper, though I want to know who is pregnant with a bust of 32, but all I keep thinking when I see this one is "who's your baby daddy?"

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Are you done yet?

Cause I really, really need to go!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Oh my God, Becky

Look at her butt!

Friday, April 18, 2008

A new species

Uncovered recently is a new species of giraffe, Vogum Mirabellicus. Furless, with a shorter neck than usual, it enjoys leafy greens and sacklike clothing.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Friday, March 28, 2008


As Simone smelled the flowers she had snatched away from Aimee, Aimee pondered the night of passion she had spent with Jacques. Let Simone have the damn flowers...she'd never have the homme.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

David waxed his chest, arms AND legs to sport his fashionable new swim trunks. He looked good. Kip & Ken looked longingly at him and had to adjust themselves.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Yes, I told her to wear that hair style.

Jen never could understand why the only guys
who wanted to date her were Stars Wars geeks.

Oh no, there is that guy who always asks where
your Princess Leah Slave Girl outfit is.

Monday, March 24, 2008


The creepy doll needs wound up again. And make her put the hearts away, Daddy. She's freaking me out.

Some Things Never Go Out Of Style

And Humphrey Bogart is one of them, dahlings!

One wonders, however, if he and the man with his back to us are about to go into a clinch. (Are Bogie's lips pursed in anticipation?)

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Desperate Housewives

But where's the yard boy?


"And then I said to him;
I used to care but now I take a pill for that."

If It's French, It Must Be True!

Dahlings, I don't sell patterns! However, this advertisement from 1931 New York is extraordinarily convincing, don't you think? What do those American doctors know? I resized it, but it doesn't seem to want to get smaller.

(Perhaps the doctor is a little bloated?)

Happy Easter!

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Saturday, March 22, 2008

This color attracts Those We Do Not Speak Of

I ask permission to cross into the forbidden woods and travel to the nearest town. I will gather new medicines, and I will return. With regards to Those We Don't Speak Of, I am certain they will let me pass. Creatures can sense emotion and fear. They will see I am pure of intention and not afraid. The end.

Jailhouse Walk

The fashion club's three martini luncheon downtown was cut short when Winnie and Jo were forced to toe the line, leaving Diane to ponder the irony of her her choice of fabric.

Gotta Go Gotta Go Gotta Go Right Now

And just in case you can't, carry flowers that can be strategically displayed to show that you had to go had to go had to go right then.