"I've look at clouds..."

Pink Dress: "Ummm, I don't know..."
Black Dress: "No really, that cloud looks totally like a penis."

Don't Stand So Close to Me

"Dude, there's a whole track to run on- what's your problem, bro? Your meat & 2 veg are gonna get a faceful of fist if you don't back off my jock, bro. What? Oh. Ohhhh. Then I'll meet you in the men's sauna in 10."

Drinking Always Leads To Bad Ideas

"These hats seemed like a good idea when we were in the store. But now? Ehh. Do we look ridiculous, Janet?"

"I believe we do, Mildred."

Perfect for your Sally Rand doll.

GAH!!

That is all.

Obi Wan, We Need Your Help

Princess Leia cried out for groovy belts, but Obi Wan claimed that just because he wore a robe, didn't make him a REAL metro kinda guy.

The Importance of Saving Your Receipt

The Johnsons were not at all pleased to discover that the Timmy they ordered did not, in fact, look anything like the model on the brochure.

Flower Dress: "Ever since Judy got that new haircut, I dunno, she seems like half the woman she used to be."

Red Dress: "Oh, you are just the worst!"

I Had A Dream

That I was a little blond boy wearing Mary Jane shoes and Joey Lawrence was pushing me on a swing.

Shirley always thought she was like other people

till the day her mother told her she was from The Land of the Giants.

Just Another Day In Suburbia

"You got the stuff?"

"You got the money?"

2 Things are Certain to Happen at Weddings...

...Someone always ends up in drunk in a corner, alone and crying and someone always busts out the CHICKEN DANCE!

Black Dress: "I do not accept your new nose job, Helen. In that, there is no nose left. I also do not accept that you used MY plastic surgeon. My glove is now off. I challenge you to a duel, beotch."

Green Dress: "Shh, don't bother me while I'm practicing being Marilyn. I think the plastic surgeon did a fabulous job, you wench. And furthermore, I would duel with you, but my entire body has been Botoxed and I'm afraid I can't move. If I'm still here in a week, call an ambulance."

Black: "Yeaaah...I probably won't."

Puritan girls gone wild

They have everything that you need to enjoy, You can hang out with all the boys...

...It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A....




Blue: Nice ball handling...

Stripe: Nice rod jerking...

I swear, Joan!

His 'man thing' was THIS BIG!

Before They Were Rock Stars...

...the Jonas Brothers took turns modeling unisex sweater vests for Simplicity. It did not go well. And so, a career path into music was born. But the scorned Simplicity lays low in the shadows, waiting to get even. Oh yes, they will get even.

I guess only Sophia Loren could pull it off...

"I don't know why, but your new haircut makes...me...SO...ANGRY! ARRRGH! Want to SMASH!"

Not Tonight, Dear..

1. I've got a headache.

2. Mother Nature has called.

3. I'd rather arrange flowers than be with you.

4. I just farted.

Bran.. Nature's Crack

Found this old ad in a vintage dress pattern today. Check out the gal's EYES! SHE'S WIRED!!! WIRED, I SAY, WIRED!!